For the longest time, I resisted spirituality at all costs. I was raised Jewish and dipped out as soon as I could, which was right after my bat mitzvah. There were things that happened in my childhood, and ways that I felt constantly, that made me feel like I was forgotten by God. I felt no love and no support from him. And if he was going to forget about me, I was going to forget about him.
The more I pushed away from religion and spirituality, the more my life was run by fear. I felt alone, but I also felt like I had no other options than to live on my own. The harder I tried to live life on my own, with no ones support or help, the further I fell into the idea that I’ll always be drowning and, with no one helping, everyone was my enemy.
Do I think that my departure from religion was the start of my life of fear? Absolutely not, I was scared of everything long before I turned 13. Do I think that had I understood the true basis of spirituality that I would have stayed? Maybe. Do I think that spirituality is an essential part of life? Abso-fucking-lutely.
It was only recently, in the last year or two, that I rediscovered the spiritual world. Part of me is so upset with myself that I let everyone’s views and ideas of religion cloud what spirituality actually is at its core, but most of me is just so incredibly grateful for this new world of mine. I love the spirituality world. I love learning more about the universal intelligence that runs our lives, I love learning that the material world is just an illusion, and I love connecting deeper and deeper with the idea that the world is naturally good and full of love. A bonus has been discovering more and more people who agree, and feel that all the world needs right now is LOVE.
And, at its core, that’s what all spirituality and religions are all about: Love.
Every religion preaches that God loves all unconditionally. There’s also the classics: Love thy neighbor, love those less fortunate, love God and all his earthly creations.
Every religious teaching is about love, or how to improve yourself to make the world a better place. Out of love.
My current read is Tears to Triumph by Marianne Williamson. It literally popped out of my bookshelf two days ago, where it has been sitting, untouched and unnoticed, since Craig moved in in November. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason, and this book called to me at the perfect time. This book is about understanding the hardest and most painful moments of your life and how to use them to reach enlightenment. It sounds intimidating, yes, but it’s about applying the idea that if you view everything in your life through a lens of love, you can change everything. It has a religious undertone, yes, but she explains it all in a way that makes more sense of religion that I had found before. It just hit me right in my soul because it is all about LOVE.
Marianne Williamson says over and over that the pain and suffering of our world, and every person in it, is nothing more than a disconnect from love. This love she’s referring to isn’t just the love for our universe and it’s creator, but also the love for each other, and the love for yourself. There it is, that concept of connection that I have grown to have a love/hate relationship with. I love connection, I crave connection to myself and the world around me, but I’m not a huge fan of how difficult connection has proven to be. Is it this simple? Is the answer to every problem out there love? There’s a strong case for it.
War, power, greed, and violence are all the opposite of love. We kill those we don’t have a loving connection with, we dehumanize through a disconnect of love, we hoard power because the material world has become more important than the people in it. If we all turn to love, and follow the guidelines of the religions we all claim to love so dearly, we would have a new world. There would be focus on every human being in this world having enough, because we have more than enough resources for it. There would be a focus on every single human being thriving, regardless of their ethnicity, economic status, or past, because every human being is deserving of living. We would be a world of compassionate, caring, and giving humans. If we all just take a minute to reconnect with love, with what we have, and all that we are, the world would be a brand new place.
Since starting this book, I have felt a shift inside of me. I have felt the power of reconnecting to the love that is within me, and the love that has created the entire universe around me. In this love, my anxiety has lessened. In this love, I feel secure in my life and my path, even if I’m still a bit unclear right now. I know that I am loved and that I am a child of love, as we all are, which means that there is no reason why I would be unworthy of a beautiful and fulfilling life.
Love seriously is louder.
Love is louder than fear.
Love is louder than anxiety.
Love is louder than the material world.
Love is louder than violence.
Love is louder than hatred.
Love is louder than the status quo.
The Beatles had it right: all you need is love.