As I sit at the airport, waiting to board the airplane that will take me back home for the first time in three weeks, I can’t help but think. Like most times that I’ve stopped to contemplate on the past few weeks, there have been a lot of changes that have gone down in this seemingly simple life of mine. Every time I think that I’m over a hump of growth and healing, and maybe get to coast for a few days or weeks, it’s as if the world feels those vibrations and responds with, “not so fast.” But I’m starting to think that that’s just how life is supposed to go.
1: Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
I like to pride myself on being a strong, independent woman. You know the one, the woman who is a one woman powerhouse. She does everything, from the household responsibilities to keeping everyone else around her from falling apart to running a business singlehandedly to healing generations of trauma to having fun, and everything in between. Unfortunately, what they don’t tell you about having that mentality is that it’s fucking exhausting. It is so exhausting to feel like the world is on your shoulders and that you have to do everything yourself, and when you live life like that, you will burn out. Once you hit burnout land, everything is that much harder.
My first stroke of luck came when a friend of mine told me she was starting a new business being a virtual assistant. I immediately thought that she might be able to take some of the many a things that I feel I have to do off of my plate, but I also thought that I wasn’t worthy of it. I am what I love to call a sufferer of “shiny object syndrome,” which means that I begin new projects before anything is done. This has led to frustration because it seems as though I’m incapable of really doing anything. I was in a slump of this frustration, but I still scheduled a call with her and made a plan to work together. It was as if a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders and I could breathe again. Effortlessly, my next two projects have been mapped out, the graphics made, and they are ready to go. I had no idea it could be this easy.
Next, I decided to take a three week trip back home. At first I tried to talk myself out of it, rationalizing that my fiancé and the dogs needed me, more than I needed this time for myself. I was afraid that my fiancé wouldn’t understand, that he would take it personally, and that he would be upset with me. I was afraid that my parents would judge me that I couldn’t keep it together, and that I was a massive failure. I was so afraid of how I would look asking for help, that I almost didn’t. I’m typing this blog post in the airport as I wait to board my plane home, so I’m happy to say that I made the trip, still engaged too. This trip was so necessary for my mental health. I feel refreshed, I feel more connected to my family, and I feel like I have a new outlook on life. Had I not taken the trip, or even been too afraid to tell someone I needed help, I would be riding the struggle bus hard right now.
2: Follow Your Excitement
About a month ago, I had the idea to create a deck of cards, about tarot sized, that had affirmations on them. I love affirmations, and I love my tarot cards, so I assumed it would be a win win. Then, I got the idea to add journal prompts to them and I fell in love. Within a weekend, I had the design figured out and 46 cards written out fully. Within another few days, I had found a card deck printer to make them a reality and my fiancé pushed me to order a sample deck. I had them sent to my dads, and the whirlwind week of creating this amazing cards was over. When they arrived at my dad’s house, I was OVER THE MOON. I didn’t strategize any specific “launch,” I didn’t do anything more than talk about them and how excited I was for them. Guess what? Everyone felt my excitement, and the first order of cards paid for themselves within two days of the preorder.
It was incredible to me how quickly everything fell into place with these cards. Not only did it happen in the blink of an eye, but it was so. Fricken. Easy. There was no force, there was no “but what if this happens,” it was simply excitement and happiness from start to now, it was the true meaning of flow. I’ve had ideas I was excited about, but killed in execution. There have been ideas that my execution destroyed, but I wasn’t all in with the idea itself. This was a magical combination of both, and it showed. Within a month, I created the product I am most excited about and proud of, ordered a sample, launched, and ordered 50 decks. It has been a dream come true.
Don’t try and force what doesn’t fit. Follow your excitement and magic will truly happen.
3: When You Thrive, Everyone Thrives
Energy is contagious. This means that your energy affects the people, and projects, around you.
When my fiancé comes home from work feeling like he “just went 12 rounds,” I feel it. I feel his pain, his heartache, his suffering, and it affects my energy. It makes me feel sad, uninspired, exhausted, and beat down. The same goes for him, and the same goes for our passions. When we feel tired and uninspired and beat down, our dreams suffer. I don’t have the confidence to put myself out there, like I know my business deserves and like I know the beautiful women I have a chance to help deserve. I don’t have the energy to put towards business tasks, which causes me to feel like a failure before I even start. Then that feeds into the cycle, causing me to feel beat down and uninspired, and it all continues. My fiancé is the exact same way.
When I left Tampa three weeks ago, I was burnt out. I was uninspired, I was tired, I was discouraged, and I was ready to give up. Not only did I feel that, but I could feel that everyone in my household did too. We were kindof short with each other, with nervous and anxious energy floating around. Because of that, I knew that this trip was something I needed to do, but not only for me, for my fiancé too.
When I feel good, like when I got my card deck in the mail, you can feel that energy. It’s the energy needed to take on the world, and it’s flowing and radiating from me. That’s the energy that my happiness, my business, and my life depend on, but that energy can only be obtained and used when I take care of myself. When my world changing energy flows, it inspires my business, it inspires my growth and healing to level up my being, and it inspires my fiancé to do the same.
Even though self care, and ensuring my energy is on point, is personal, it’s not just about me, as much as it may seem. My mental health and energy don’t just affect me, but also my fiancé and his dreams, every potential client that I can help reclaim her own power, and simply every person I interact with. In order to take care of myself and my energy, it can sometimes mean making hard decisions, like leaving home for three weeks or pivoting in business or even taking a break from it. Sometimes it can mean setting boundaries people don’t like, like not drinking with your drinking buddies or going to bed early when you need it and being the “party pooper.” It helps me to remember that every time you make a decision so you don’t have to disappoint others, you end up disappointing yourself. No matter how hard the decisions were, making the decisions you need for yourself and your energy will help you and everything around you thrive.
The more you take care of yourself, the more you take care of everything and everyone that matters to you.
4: You’re Allowed to Go Outside of Your Box
My first thought when I got the idea for my cards? “Who am I to do this?”
I’m not an artist, and I’ve never created a physical product, so it almost didn’t feel right that I was going to try and make this a reality. I’ve never seen myself as a creative person and I felt like everyone would somehow know that I’m not the person for this product. Even though my idea was so exciting, and it felt so right, I immediately tried to talk myself out of it because “it wasn’t me.”
Who says I’m not creative? Who says I’m not an artist? Who says I can’t do this? Who says this isn’t me?
Spoiler alert: They’re all the same person, and that person is ME.
This box that I feel is missing creativity, the box that I feel like I’m trapped in is one of my own imagination. I am able to do whatever the hell I want, simply because I want to. There is nothing stopping me from creating this deck. There is nothing stopping me from living as a creative artist. There is nothing stopping me from doing literally anything and everything in my life but me.
Funny enough, even though these cards are outside of me “box” and make me feel a bit uncomfortable, they feel more like me than anything else I’ve ever done. They feel so right and the process flowed so easily that maybe it’s not the idea that was wrong, but maybe it’s the box I live in itself that’s wrong. Which has gotten me thinking: what box do I want to be mine?
This life is truly limitless. Cauliflower can be pizza, Arnold Schwarzenegger can be governor, cars can be truly emission less, there are literally no rules anymore. Everything that we knew to be true 30 years ago has mostly been proven to be false. You can’t make a living on the internet? LIE. We’d have flying cars in 2000? LIE. I’d need to know that the mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell in life? LIE.
Rather than live life based on who I’ve always been, why not live life as who I’ve always wanted to be?
Another assumption I’ve made in life is the assumption that I’m not a musical person and I can’t carry a tune to save my life. I grew up with that idea, I was told that idea by my more musical than me brother, and I was told that by the directors for the school musical. I have all the proof in the world that I’m not musical. But guess who asked for a guitar for Christmas and is getting one tomorrow? This girl.
I’m not living my life in this box anymore, it’s getting hard to breathe. I’m making my own box because the more ME this box feels, the more room I have to breathe and grow, and the more I thrive. And you know what happens then? Everything and everyone around me thrives.