When I say progress…

When I say progress…

I mean it.

This week, I actually have my car to tool around in. My dude is up North for the week, making his dreams come true, so I have the freedom to go where I please. Like most things, it wasn’t this simple: the car needs an oil change and the brake lights went out literally the day before he left. 

Right here, I had two options: I could sit and complain about how unfair my life is or I could stop complaining and do something about it. Much to my surprise, I chose option two.

Instead of complaining that nothing ever goes right, I took myself to AutoZone and bought the brake lights. I watched a five minute youtube video and then spent the next hour in the trunk of my car, yelling at the light bulbs for not coming out as easily as the video showed. I broke both of the old bulbs, got things stuck in sockets, formed a huge blister on my finger, and sweat through my shirt completely. You know what else I did? Changed the damn brake light bulbs myself. 

I don’t think you know, and I wouldn’t expect you to know, the gravity of that moment there. My expectations weren’t met and I changed the circumstance myself. For someone that loves to sit in the lack of personal responsibility realm, this is huge. So what did I do with my bright new brake lights yesterday? Went on a trip and never left my house.

Sometimes, you don’t need to physically go exploring to go on a trip. Sometimes, all you need is the right environment and the right tools. In the past two months, I’ve taken psychedelics three times. The first and last time I was alone, while the second time was in the presence of my amazing fiancé. Each has been profound in what has happened, and each one has been special. 

The first time, I overcame fear. I was alone in my apartment while my dude was up North two months ago and I had just shaved part of my head. I remember asking myself, “why stop there?” And off I went. It was a magical experience, one that I never expected I would have. I was always afraid of what would happen on psychedelics, I was always afraid that I would be the one with the bad trip and that I would regret the decision immediately. Turns out, none of that happened. What did happen was that I appreciated the playfulness of my life. Simple things, like the candle on my table or the painting on my wall, were interesting and fun. It was as though I was playing a game with my life and, for once, there was nothing there but the moment.

The second time, I deepened my relationship. That playfulness and fun of life came out again, and rather than stress about our current situation, we just talked. We talked about life, but not about our goals or ambitions, just about life. We sat outside for hours, enjoying the beauty that we take for granted on a daily basis. We listened to music and viewed it as a whole experience together. We felt the beauty of a fun and carefree life, even just for one day, together.

This time, I wasn’t sure what I was going to receive. I took it on a whim, wanting that beauty and appreciation to fall back into my life. With the psychedelics, I can truly release the stress and worry of my life and just love. There’s no fear, there’s no panic, there’s just pure love and appreciation. I spent time outside, I walked around my apartment complex, I stood on my patio, I sat on my couch with the dogs, I watched some classic TV (for me, at least. Hello Sister, Sister on Netflix!), but most importantly, I flowed. 

At one point, as I was watching TV, I wondered to myself if I was wasting my experience. I wondered if this wasn’t the best use of my current state, but then I realized that not everything needs a reason. There’s no need for me to sit in a contemplative state for hours to “make use” of my state, that’s just an illusion. Whereas every other trip has been about broadening and deepening, this one was very different. This one wasn’t about doing, it was about expectations and being.

Funny enough, the second I dropped the expectation that something profound needed to come from this moment, something did. As I sat there, finishing the journaling that I tried to start at a time that my words didn’t quite make sense, it all made sense. Everything I do is in “search” of something. I’m never ok with just being because I learned at a very young age that just being will always get me hurt. Without further elaboration, it was a holy shit moment, and a moment that illuminated what the purpose of this trip was.

The purpose was to show the importance of my being. I mentioned in my last post that connection may be my one thing to life, and I believe that even more strongly now. My connection to myself, my true self and the pure potentiality of my life, is the secret for me. The problem lies in that I realized I don’t actually believe that I am worthy. And that worthiness runs deep, I’m talking not worthy of just being, worthy of a life free of strain and struggle, and worthy of a life full of happiness, fulfillment, and love. That belief in myself just wasn’t there.

To connect to myself requires a few things. It requires the belief that I am worthy and enough, no matter what. It also requires that I free myself from expectations. These expectations include the ones society has placed on me, and the expectations I have knowingly and unknowingly put on myself. I must release all notion of time, being behind or late, and anxiety and worry. This is a moment where I have two choices: I can sit back and complain that life is so unfair to me that I have so much to change, or I can stop complaining and do something about it.

After seeing that I’m capable of much more than I originally thought (like who thought I could change some damn brake lights?? Not me), I’m choosing option two. This is different than any other choice that I have ever made in my life because it actually involves less doing and more being. 

I end this post just as I did the last “progress” post: I’m not there yet, but I feel so much closer.

Sometimes it’s the trips that never leave the house where you travel the most.


Over the weekend, some big shifts and realizations were made, y’all.

I went to the beach with my dude and my puppers on Saturday. I love taking my dogs to the beach, they just love the adventure and they so deserve a few hours of just fun, as a reward for sitting in the apartment the rest of the time. (I feel their pain there, ya know??) 

But, as fun as the beach is for the puppers, it tends to be very stressful for Craig and I when we take them. We love our dogs, and they are relatively well behaved, but any sense of training they’ve ever had goes straight out the window when they hit the beach. They pull, they jump, they whine, and they go absolutely nuts for other dogs. This is usually a pretty big problem because, hello, we’re at a dog beach.

This time, though, was different. There was some pulling and some barking and some whining, but they were pretty calm with the other dogs running around. My little beagle lady, Lilo, and I just sat in the shallow water near the shore, and watched Craig and the big boy, Bane, play in the water. 

As I was sitting there in the water, I wasn’t anxious or nervous. I wasn’t worried about other dogs running up and our dogs panicking. I wasn’t worried about my day to day life or any other struggles I’m having right now. I was just there. Sitting in the water, enjoying the hell out of the beautiful time I was spending with my father, and I was simply being.

The more I take myself out of my house and to other places, the easier I’m finding myself relaxing. The disconnect from stress and worry is becoming easier and easier, and the connection to the present moment is becoming easier too. As I sat down to meditate when we got back from the beach and cleaned up, I slipped right into a trance like state almost immediately, which is not normally the case. Usually, it’s a battle between myself and my mind, trying my hardest to calm my thoughts down, and my mind straight up saying no. I don’t always feel connected to myself or the universe right away in meditation, and sometimes I feel like I may be wasting my time. 

But not recently. 

Right now, I feel like I’m making progress. I feel like I’m understanding more and more what life is actually all about. I feel like I’m able to disconnect myself from the chaos of the world and connect to the world that’s inside me. 

And I think I understand what my one thing is: connection.

Unfortunately for me, just like with the brake light bulb replacement that ended up being so much harder than I thought, finding what my one thing is isn’t the end of the journey, it’s actually much harder than I thought.

When I say connection being my one thing, the rest of Curly’s saying “the meaning to life is one thing,” I mean that the meaning to my life is found in connection. 

In connecting down to the deepest depths of my being, I’ll find my one thing. 

In connecting to all beings from here to all corners of the earth, I’ll find my one thing.

In connecting to the wonders and wisdom of the universe and it’s mysticism, I’ll find my one thing.

So yes, I’ve made progress here. When I said out loud that my one thing was connection, and again when I just typed it out, I felt an energy course through my body. It was almost like the universe’s way of agreeing, and giving me the sensation that I’ve found the next step. It’s in these next steps that I’ll find what I’m ultimately looking for, in deepening my connection.

So that’s where my focus lies right now, in deepening all of my connections.

For myself, that means less TV and social media, and more awareness and exploring my depths. I get sucked into the world of Facebook and Instagram easily, and love to be entertained, which means the TV can be on for hours and hours. I know for a fact how detrimental multitasking can be for your awareness and overall stress and anxiety, but man if it isn’t easier that way. I allow myself to slip into habits where I do anything but listen to myself., which means TV in the background, scrolling through the social media on autopilot, and eating way too many treats.

In order to connect to myself, I must allow my inner voice and guidance space to be heard. Meditation and journaling are already in my routine, but I am recommitting to fully immersing myself in the experience of the two exercises, rather than just doing them to check off a box. 

I am also recommitting to reconnecting back to my physical body. I spent so many years of my life solely focusing on my physical body that, recently, it’s been the last thing I want to focus on. Unfortunately, I have been feeling the effects of too many months of “treat yo’self” coming back to haunt me. Reconnecting back to myself is not just mental and spiritual, but also physical. Nourishing my body with fruits and vegetables rather than treats, and moving my body out of love are two ways I am recommitting to my physical body.

For the world around me, that means looking into volunteering opportunities. It means less judgement and more acceptance. It means less complaining about circumstances around me, and more doing to actually fix them.

For the universe, it means focusing on the beauty in my life, rather than the worries and fears.

All fear does is disconnect you from the present. Fear swoops you out of the current moment and into the pain of the future that you have yet to experience. Fear scoops you from the present and transports you back to the pain of the present that you have already experienced. None of this matters. 

All that matters is right here and right now, and it is beautiful.

Weekly Ts&Rs

Weekly Ts&Rs

Last Saturday, I got to go adventure with my dude. Our first real date, almost three years ago, was kayaking. In the past three years, we’ve gone to the beach, we’ve taken the dogs, we’ve gone on road trips together, but we’re only gone back kayaking once. Until Saturday when we finally went back on the water together.

There’s nothing like floating on the water, just basking in the sun. You’re flowing with the current, the waves, and the tide, and you just feel like one with the water. I was relaxed, I was happy, I was at total and complete peace. To make it even better, I was at total peace with the love of my life. In those few hours on the water, I felt like I had almost figured it out. It was the closest to pure happiness that I think I’ve ever felt, it just felt right.

Along with kayaking on Saturday, I went to my other happy place on Wednesday: Disney! One of my absolute favorite things about living in FL, along with being so close to the water, is being just as close to Disney World. There’s something about Disney that just makes you feel like a kid again, and gives you that sense of carefree, full body happiness. I’m grateful for my annual pass, which allows me to visit the parks without straining the wallet, and my best friend for loving Disney just as much as I do.

We went to Hollywood Studios and spent the day sweating our butts off, but having a blast. The newest ride to open at Disney is a Star Wars based ride, with about 13 different hoops to jump through just to reserve a spot for it, but guess who made it happen? We did. The ride was nothing like I had ever experienced before, it was completely immersive and an actual experience, not just a ride. It allowed me to truly release any stress or worry I had been carrying with me, and I just enjoyed the hell out of it.

I’ve been noticing that the more I focus on my happiness, and what my higher self is calling me to do, the more I want to work. But I have no desire to be on social media. I have no desire to further my social media presence right now. What I’ve learned from my time at the beach and on the water, which is where I’ve felt the most at peace, is to flow, just like the water around me. Rather than swim against the current, and try to force myself to pursue something that I’m not energetically behind right now, I’m allowing the tide of my energy to take me to where I want to be.

Right now, the tide of my life has taken me to do exactly what I’m doing right now. I want to write, I want to sit in front of the computer for hours at the beginning of the day and watch the words flow. I want to spill the words that fly around my brain onto the page, and I want to use these words to inspire and change lives. With each day, I can feel that I’m getting closer and closer to my one thing. I won’t say I’m there yet, not at all, and I won’t say that I’m even close, but I feel myself getting closer to it.

The only limit is…

The only limit is…

One of my favorite quotes is “the only thing to fear is fear itself.” I think I’ve actually already used the quote in a post of this baby of a blog, only having what? Four posts? That’s how you know it’s real love, baby. 

But anyways, that quote got me thinking. If the only thing to fear is fear itself, is the only limit we have, the limit itself? 

Like, is there any actual limit in my life or have I put the limit on myself? Is there any sort of limit in this world or is that just a myth? Are we truly limitless?

I would love to believe that we are truly limitless in this life. But at the same time, I don’t want to believe that because, if we’re truly limitless, then what’s my fucking excuse? What’s been stopping me from creating the life of my dreams? It pains me to type this sentence because I know the answer: myself.

I struggle so hard with limits because, even though I know they are self imposed and not real, I can’t help but see them everywhere.

  • I want to go explore but I don’t have a car.
  • I want to travel but I don’t have the money.
  • I want so much from my life but I just feel so stuck.

Y’all, I’m grateful for my life. I have so much love and support surrounding me at all times. I’m safe, I’m secure, I have a fantastic relationship, my dogs are bomb as hell, I have a great life. I have so much to be thankful for, and I am, every single day. They say that the secret to building the life of your dreams is being grateful for what you have. And I am, I promise you that. 

So, I’m grateful as hell. I believe that, at my core, I am limitless in what I can create from my life. I believe that a life of happiness, excitement, and fulfillment is inevitable for me. On paper, I have the perfect recipe for success. So, like what the hell? Where’s it at??

Maybe I’m just impatient. Maybe the limits I feel in my life aren’t all that real. As I’m looking at that list above, there’s ways to get around every single thing on there. It’s a matter of how much I want it. It’s a matter of how ALL IN I truly am in creating the life of my dreams.

I believe, for the past few weeks at least, I’ve been ALL IN. I’ve been putting in the effort to enjoy my life, and I have been. I’ve been on more adventures in the past three weeks than I have in three years. I’ve been making time for the things that truly matter to me, which are my relationships with my dude, my friends, and myself, and loving it. I’ve felt my stress and anxiety decrease in the past few days. I feel the progress.

I’m just impatient as hell. That’s my limit right there: impatience. I want it all but I want it now, and if it takes too long, I don’t want it anymore. I always love the saying “momma didn’t raise no quitter” because mine did. In my life, I have quit SO many things, simply because they got hard or I got impatient. I wonder how much I’ve missed out on because I didn’t give it a fighting chance. I refuse to continue to identify as a quitter, because even if momma raised one, I’ve changed, and I ain’t no quitter anymore. I refuse to let my impatience be my limit.

But when I think about it, there’s no way that I’m alone in having impatience be my main limit. I know for a fact that, especially with the modern culture of instant gratification, impatience plagues more of us than we’d like to admit. I wonder if the limit that stops so many from hitting that sweet spot that they’re looking for is just self imposed impatience. What could we accomplish if we just held on a little longer and kept pushing? 

I’m on the right path though, I feel it. I feel the progress in finding clarity in my path. I feel the excitement coming back into my life, even in ways I thought I lost it. I feel the confidence sneaking it’s way back into my life. I feel the clouds doing their best to part to give me my clarity, as long as I keep on going. It’s on its way.

I am not impatient.

I trust that everything I could ever want is on it’s way to me.

I trust in divine timing being my guide.

I am limitless

Week One Ts&Rs

Week One Ts&Rs

Ts&Rs?? Thoughts and Reflections, babe!

I didn’t have a car, but ya girl found ways to get around!

This was a solid week for exploring Molly, much more so than the first few days at least. 

On Tuesday, the original plan was to take my man to work and then take the car to go explore. Unfortunately, with his wild schedule, there was no way to guarantee I could come snag him with my client calls, so I had to ixnay that idea. The plan then changed to Thursday being my day that I can steal the car, so I figured I was stuck in the house all day. Lo and behold, my best friend came through big time today. She was heading to the Zoo with the adorable little boy she babysits, and I was invited to tag along.

Even though I was still not really free, between being picked up and having to watch what I say around a small child, I felt much more free and abundant than I have in weeks. It was amazing to get out of the house. It was incredible to have the freedom to take a spontaneous trip to the zoo before my work starts. It was so great to see all of the animals (and get to interact with them! I fed stingrays, y’all!). It was so cute to watch this little boy, as shy as he was around me, enjoy seeing all of the animals that you don’t get to see every day. Everything about it was perfect.

On Wednesday, I ventured out to the beach. With the full moon in Pisces happening the night before, the beach just seemed like the place to be, and I was right. 

Indian Rocks beach is my all time favorite beach. It’s only about 15 minutes further than the best beach in America, Clearwater Beach, but it is way more my vibe. I like to think of it as the local best beach in America, and it did not let me down today.

With children being back in school, virtual or not, the beach was dead. I could count the number of people on the beach around us on one hand, and that’s really the way I like it. The beach is my calm place. I love hearing the sound of the waves, floating in the flow of the ocean, and the beauty of the shells that litter the beach, it’s all just a perfect flow. I was able to sit in the ocean for almost two hours, floating up and down with the waves, and feeling like I was connected with Mother Nature as I bobbed. It was fantastic.

My thoughts from this week are that I have so much to fucking learn.

In the past year I have done so much, grown through so much, and pushed so hard towards something that I don’t feel connected to anymore. I am realizing that there is so. Much. More out there for me, and I haven’t even scraped the surface. My purpose may still be the same, but the way I fulfill that purpose may be totally different from how I was expecting. As a recovering control freak (listen y’all, I’m trying), I am still in the process of coming to terms with the fact that I will never know the exact path that I will take in realizing my purpose. This awakening moment, and starting out on this journey to more, has more than shown that.

In the past two weeks, I have realized that the life I am dreaming of is completely different from the life I once thought I wanted. 

My word for September is allow. This journey has more than proven that to be true. I am open to allowing my path to unfold as it does. I am open to allowing the uncertainty of my path to show me the way. I am open to allowing myself to change and adapt as I continue to learn and grow. I allow my path to be shown in due time, and I trust that I’m exactly where I should be.

I’m excited for the adventures my life holds. I see how different just the intention to explore and live makes my life, and I can’t wait to continue to explore, learn, and grow. This was a solid first week, and we’re just getting started.

Let’s Talk About Fear

Let’s Talk About Fear

Speaking with total honesty, it’s been the only thing on my mind the past year of my life. In the past year, I have taken more risks and pushed past my comfort zone more times than I ever have in my life. I have invested heavily in myself and my development, started a new business, embraced my spiritual nature, and started to build a life that is so amazing that it scares the absolute shit out of me. 

Isn’t that funny? Everything I’ve ever wanted, including a thriving business that helps women improve their confidence and stop settling, financial abundance and stability, and all around not stressing about survival, is nothing short of terrifying. 

And why? Because this is completely uncharted territory.

Honestly, for most of my life, I have been scared of everything. And my favorite way to describe myself pre personal development junkie is this:

When the going got tough, Molly got going.

At the first sign of any struggle or challenge, my first instinct was to run. And that’s what I did. I left behind my childhood passion of horseback riding when confronted with conflict and stress of growing competition. It didn’t stop with horseback riding. I stopped exploring the woods behind my house after watching one too many scary movies. I stopped trying new things from the fear of not being good enough. I gave up anytime there was struggle, I shied away from any sort of conflict or stress, I didn’t even give myself a fighting chance to succeed at anything because I was never willing to risk a fight. I stopped living my life out of fear.

In the past year, from age 27 to almost 28, I have pushed past more fear than I ever have in my life. The more I push past that fear, the more fear rears its ugly head at me. But the more I push past my fear, the more I want to keep pushing. Right now, I feel as though I’m at a crossroads with my fear.

Unlike when I was a kid, I understand fear now. Part of my job as a mindset coach is to guide my women through understanding their fear, and show them that it isn’t really real. Fear is nothing more than your mind trying to keep you safe. Unfortunately for us human beings, our minds don’t understand the difference between real danger and “all in your mind” danger. It doesn’t matter the circumstance, anything that scares you rings all of the alarm bells in your mind. When those bells ring, your mind starts to create doom and gloom scenarios galore. All of the worrying, all of the panic, all of the ways possible for your mind to talk you out of doing the thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s the best thing you could ever do, your mind wants none of this risk.

So now that we all understand fear, it drives me absolutely nuts that my fear still affects me, even after all I know and all of the progress I’ve made. Where I’m at my crossroads is in my life path. I know that my life path and purpose is to help people, that’s never been a question. I love helping people, and I love watching women that I have helped embrace their dreams and grow into their true selves. There’s nothing like seeing yourself make a difference in other’s lives. 

But something feels off about what I’m doing. And I can’t tell if it’s from the fear that my business is growing and that fear of success sneaking in, like something inside of me is telling me that my life will explode if I gain some sort of abundance, or if it’s because something isn’t right about what I’m doing.

I know for a fact that fear is the reason I stopped exploring and stopped living my life, and that’s why this blog is a thing. 

I know for a fact that I want adventure and that there’s more out there for me. 

I know for a fact that I love to help people.

I know for a fact that I feel like I have no clue what I’m meant to be doing.

I know for a fact that that fact above scares the shit out of me.

I know for a fact that in that fear and uncertainty is where I’m going to learn the most about myself and my purpose.

I know for a fact that my fear is here to help me.

I know for a fact that on the other side of my fear is everything I desire.

I’m ready to push past my fear and find what I’m looking for.

And we’re off! Sort of…

And we’re off! Sort of…

During the week, my exploring and adventuring is limited.

I share a car with my fiancé, and he works Monday through Friday, 8-4 at the very earliest, with a 40 minute drive home. I go for a walk around my neighborhood and go sit by the lake in my apartment complex, but that’s the extent of the exploring during the week. Weekday adventuring will be something that I have to plan and prepare for, and since this is my first week of living life looking for more, I wasn’t prepared.

Turns out, I wasn’t really prepared for the weekend either.

I assumed that it would be easy to go out and do some exploring. I mean, I have the car, I have the time, I’m ready to rock and roll, right?

Something I wasn’t expecting to experience: I don’t really know how to explore anymore.

What do you do? Do you just get in the car and drive? Do you have a destination in mind? Do you just see where the drive takes you? What do I do with my hands right now? I was thinking I could just get out of the house and go onwards to adventure, but I realized pretty quickly that either I’m overthinking it or I’m underprepared (And let’s be real, it’s probably both)

In thinking about it, there’s three types of exploring really: the long trips, the day trips and the spontaneous drives.

The long trips are your overnighters. The road trips out of state, the plane rides, anything where you sleep not at your house, those are all overnighters. The goal is to get these into rotation soon, but we are not even close to there yet. As Bob Wiley says in What About Bob?: baby steps.

And on that note, many of my references are going to come from 80’s movies because my dude is an 80’s babe through and through. He loves his Bill Murray, Tom Hanks, and Jon Hughes, so we watch them a lot. I love me some comedy, so expect plenty of those references as well. I pretty much can live my life through movie quotes.

Anyways, segue number one out of the way and we’re back to the types of exploring.

The day trips are those destinations you can hit up in a few hours and still be back to sleep in your own bed. In Florida, there’s plenty of day trip places, but you still need to prepare to go to them. Wake up early, pack some food, have a day free, etc. The beaches are only about 30 minutes away from me, but I was not prepared for that today either. It was 10am, I had to be back by 1pm, and this was just a quick little trip.

Which brings us to today’s adventures: the spontaneous drive.

This is when you just get in the car and go. Maybe you have a destination in mind or maybe you just drive through the streets of your neighborhood and look at the houses. 

Today, I used an app called Randonautica to guide me. And yall, this app is so ridiculously cool. It works through quantum points, which I cannot explain anymore about because I am not a quantum physicist, I’m a chick who likes the mystical and unexplainable. It doesn’t mean I can explain it. Basically, you tell the app your location and you focus really strongly on your intent (aka what it is you’re looking to see) and it plots a point on your map based on that. 

If you’re reading this and second guessing it, I totally get it. But y’all, it works. It’s shown my fiancé and I things relating to us that we can’t even begin to explain, and it’s almost like a treasure hunt because yes, it gives you an exact point, but that doesn’t mean it’s right there. It takes some digging to find exactly what it’s trying to show you.

For my first solo Randonautica experience, I decided to stick to the car. I didn’t want to be getting out and walking through people’s yards and other places by myself, so I kept it light. I went to four different points and drove around for about an hour. It was nice to get out of the house and feel like I have a sense of freedom. It wasn’t the grand adventure that I’m so desperately wanting to find, but it was a solid first day.

For next week, I’m going to plan a day trip for the weekend, and try to get in some random drives throughout the week. My main focus right now is not to find myself and the meaning of life right away, though it would be nice, but to get back into the groove of exploring and learn to be comfortable not knowing where I am or where I’m going.

Just One Thing

Just One Thing

Who would’ve thought that watching City Slickers with my man on a Wednesday night would be such a life changing experience?

*insert billy crystal gif here*

To say that I related to Billy Crystal’s character would be a total understatement. With every word he said, facial expression he gave, and action he took, either I would turn to my dude and say “is that me??” Or he would turn to me and ask the same. I understood how he felt, having a standard life that he just wasn’t ok with. I understood his feeling like there has to be something more out there. 

And then my man Curly went and said to him, “the meaning to life is just one thing.” When Billy Crystal asked what that one thing was, Curly replied, “that’s for you to find out.” By the end of the movie, Billy Crystal found out exactly what that one thing is, but was rude enough to not share with the audience.

You could tell that his trip with his friends had changed him completely. He understood that there was more to life than he had known about before, and he was ready to live his renewed life.

Y’all. I’m Molly, and I’m ready to find out what my one thing is.

This actually isn’t a new venture for me, I’ve been searching for “something more” for the past four years. Every time I think I get close, I realize I have gotten closer, but I’m still not there yet. Every time I think that I’ve figured it out, I realize that I’m still just as lost. 

I went from big name gym personal trainer to self employed health coach to meal prep company store manager to mindset coach in the past few years. Each thing I tried has gotten me one step closer, and mindset coaching seemed to be my one thing, but it may be more like one thing of many. I love mindset work, I’m a self proclaimed self improvement junkie, and I love empowering women to ditch what they think they should be doing and to follow their dreams. I’m just not sure if I want to do this whole insta-chick-entrepreneur-sell-myself-for-clients thing forever. 

Mindset coaching was my way to say screw off to the “should be’s” and expectations of my life and to pursue my own path. But recently, I realized that I haven’t fully released these expectations, I just transferred them from what everyone else expected of me to what I thought I should expect of myself. My career is fulfilling, and I love seeing my clients thrive, but I can’t help but think “there’s gotta be something more.”

I recently dug back into my self discovery work, specifically wracking my brain to uncover what my purpose is. I know the questions to ask, I literally coach women on asking themselves these questions on the reg, but I hadn’t taken the time to really answer these questions myself. Until now, and I found out a few things that really surprised me.

**feel free to use these questions to dig deeper into yourself. 10/10 highly recommend**

What did your 8 year old self love to do?”

As a kid, I spent my days exploring the woods behind my house. I would spend hours, by myself or with friends, walking through the woods or following the creek that ran through it, picking up any cool rocks along the way. I was a horseback rider and loved being at the barn. My favorite times on my horse were trail rides, where I rode through the woods and explored it all. When I grew up a bit, one of my favorite things to do was take my dog into the woods or hiking with me. 

“What is one thing you do that causes you to be so immersed into it that you forget to eat?”

Writing, hands down. I have two mostly done manuscripts for books that are over 20,000 words each, and that I wrote in almost no time flat. Time flies when I’m writing, and I have literally forgotten to eat most of the days I spend writing.

“If you only had one year left to live, how would you spend that year?”

This one was much easier than I expected: I would spend my year traveling the world, exploring other lands and cultures.

Between Billy Crystal and these questions, it was clear to me: the answers I’m looking for lie in the adventures that I stopped taking.

I let my fear of disappointing all of the expectations thrust upon me by either the world or by myself stop me from living. As my girl Hilary Duff says not to do in A Cinderella Story, I let my fear of striking out keep me from playing the game. My passion as a child was being outside and finding new places, my love as I grew up was adventuring, and as I continued to grow, I let the fear of the world stop me from exploring.

So, as the title of this blog says, I’m on the move for more. I’m done being a passive bystander in my life, I’m done waiting for life to happen to me, and I’m ready to start living. I am committing to adventures, to exploring, and to finding my one thing that life is all about. 

My goal for this blog? Combine my passions and find what I’m looking for. Time stops when I write and time flies when I adventure. I can’t think of a better way to find my meaning of life than to combine the two things that light me up. And hopefully, my pursuit for my purpose will give you a spark that you need to go and find yours, to combine all three of my passions in one little webpage.